“And it came to pass after these things that the man rose up in the morning having been clothed with grief the [whole] night, and he beat his breast and cried over himself the whole day through; and having given up all hope of his redemption, he did that which was unseemly and went back to the world again. For it is of the cunning of the Evil One that, having vanquished a man in the strife, he bringeth him to a senseless state of despair, and he is never able to stand up again. Therefore, O my sons, it helpeth us not to dwell in caves near to the villages, and the meeting with women is not beneficial to us, for we keep in our minds a remembrance which cannot be blotted out from the mind, both of their words and appearance, and moreover it is not right that we should reduce ourselves to despair; for behold, very many men have been in despair about themselves, but the compassion of God hath not forsaken them.
“For there was a young man in a certain city who had committed multitudes of sins and great wickednesses, with a most evil intent, yet at a sign from God he repented of his sins, and departed to the place of the tombs, where he wept over his former sins; and he cast himself upon the earth face downwards, and did not care to lift up his voice and to make mention of the Name of God in his mouth, or to make entreaty to Him, and he thought that he was not worthy to live, and before his death he shut himself up in the place of the tombs, groaning from the depth of his heart, because he had lost all hope of his life. Now when he had passed a whole week of days in this manner, those devils who had formerly injured his life rose up against him by night, and cried out, saying, ‘Where is that corrupt and filthy man who, having filled himself as full as he could with pollution and corruption, doth now unseasonably and suddenly appear to be both chaste and good, and because he is not able to do so he wisheth to become a Christian, and a man of well ordered life? What then is the beautiful thing which thou expectest to acquire now that thou hast sated thyself with every kind of wickedness? Wilt thou not stand away from where thou art, and come with us and [enjoy] the things which thou usually hast? Behold, whores and tavern companions are waiting for thee, wilt thou not then come and gratify thy lust with us? Every hope for thee hath been extinguished, and truly thy punishment shall arrive swiftly, and in this manner thou wilt slay thyself. Why art thou terrified at [the idea of] punishment, O wretched man? And why strivest thou that it may not come upon thee swiftly?’ And they said unto him very many other things, and cried out to him, ‘Thou art ours, for thou didst make a covenant with us. Thou didst commit every kind of wickedness, and thou wast worse than every one of us, and wouldst thou dare to flee [from us]? Wilt thou not return us an answer, and wilt thou not agree with us and go forth with us?’
“But the young man continued to weep steadily, and he neither inclined his ear to hearken unto them, nor made answer unto them. Then, when those devils had remained with him a long time and had done nothing [unto him], as they were speaking wicked and abominable devils laid hold upon him, and smote him with severe stripes, and tore to pieces his whole body, and entreated him most evilly, and then departed, leaving him with very little life in him. And the young man lay groaning in the same place where they had left him, for he was unable to turn round and depart to another place, and shortly afterwards, when he had regained a little of his breath, the members of his house and his relatives went forth in sorrow to seek him, and when they found him they learned from him the cause of the stripes, and they besought him to go with them to his house; but the young man did not yield to their frequent and urgent entreaties. And again, on another night, those devils made to come upon him stripes which were more numerous and more severe than the former ones, nevertheless he would not consent to depart from that district at the entreaty of his relatives, but he said unto them, ‘It is better for me to die [thus] than to live with the blemishes of this world upon me.’ On the third night, however, within a very little, through the multitudinous stripes of the devils, he departed from this temporary life, for they fell upon him without mercy, and they smote him with blows where the former blows had fallen, and they entreated him so evilly that he was obliged to fight for [his] breath. And when they saw that he would not yield to them, they left him for dead and departed from him, and they went away from him, crying out and saying, ‘Thou hast conquered us, thou hast conquered us, thou hast conquered us.’ And afterwards nothing evil came upon him.
“And the pure young man continued to dwell in the grave and to lead a pure life gloriously, and he was so weighted with the fear of God in the wonderful and mighty deeds which he made manifest, that many folk marvelled at him, and desired greatly [to do as he did], for those who had entirely abandoned all hope of their souls devoted themselves to the performance of his excellent rules of life. And in him was fulfilled that which is written, ‘Whosoever humbleth himself shall be exalted’ (St. Luke xiv, 11). Therefore, O my sons, I beseech each and every one of you before all things to lead a life of humility, for that is the foundation of all the glorious virtues; but besides this, the dwelling in a remote desert place is exceedingly helpful to the performance of deeds of ascetic excellence.
“And there was also another solitary monk who dwelt in a place which was a long way off in the desert, and having led for many years a life of perfection with all credit, in the time of his old age he became tempted by devils; he had been a strenuous man and had loved the life of quiet contemplation all his days, and he excelled exceedingly in prayers, and in [singing] praises, and in multitudes of visions, and spiritual manifestations were revealed unto him with such scrupulous exactness, some in revelations and some in dreams, that finally he was able to walk in the footsteps of incorporeal beings. And because he was not stablished in the earth, and took no care about his food, he sought not in the trees the things of which the body hath need, neither in the green herb, nor in the birds, nor in the animals of the desert, and he was full of trust in God. For from the time when he went forth from the habitation of men into the desert, he had no care whatsoever in his mind about that whereon he was to live and to support his body, but wholly forgetting all such things his whole love was exalted to God. And he awaited his call from Him and his departure from this world, and he enjoyed exceedingly the visions and the hope of that which was to come, and his body did not shrink by reason of length of years nor did his soul decay, and he possessed a beautiful nature through his chaste life. But God took care of him, and at certain well-defined intervals, that is, once every two or three days, he found bread upon his table; and whensoever he felt that his body needed food, he would go into the cave and take rest, and having refreshed himself, and bowed himself before God, he would return again to his praises, and say ‘Amen’ in his prayer and in his visions. And rejoicing in his peace every day he added to the glory of his life and works, and he waxed stronger daily in the hope of that which is to come, like a man who was confident that he would depart from this world in virtue, which actually took place within a very short time from his fall, through the temptation that subsequently came upon him.
“But why should we not tell the story of his sin whereto his folly was exceedingly close? For, having become proud in his mind, and thinking therein that he was better than many men, and that he possessed some faculty for goodness which was greater than that possessed by all other men, and trusting in himself that this really was so, at no remote time there was born in him first of all a degree of negligence which was so small that it might be imagined that it was not negligence, and then there burst into existence contempt, which is a greater [sin] than negligence, and then sluggishness made itself felt, and as a result of these things he used to stand up in vigil and prayer in a listless fashion, and the entreaty of his prayer became small, and his praises of God were short, and his soul longed for pleasures, and his mind inclined to terrestrial things, and his thoughts wandered to hateful things, and in secret he meditated upon the abominable things of lust. But, however, the constraint of his former life and deeds was still with him as a protection, and at eventide, after his usual prayer, he found upon his table the bread which had been given to him by God, and he ate and was refreshed. And because he did not cast away his shortcomings, and did not consider that his negligence injured his strenuousness in ascetic virtues, and increased his zealousness in the performance of other things which were hateful, and because he did not turn to the healing of his wickednesses, and because it was a small matter in his sight that he had fallen away entirely from the things which were seemly, the evil lust of filthy fornication seized upon his mind, and carried him away in his thoughts to the world.
“And having remained [thus] for one day, he turned to his usual service of singing the Psalms, and he prayed, and praised God, and went into the cave, and he found therein his bread which had been placed there at [the fixed] time, but it was not as pure as it was usually, and it was somewhat dirty; and though he marvelled thereat, and was sad about it, he ate the bread and was refreshed. And it came to pass on the third night that there was added a threefold evil, and he delivered over his wicked mind quickly to his guilty thoughts; now it seemed in his consciousness as if there was a woman close to him, and lying by his side, and as if he was looking at her with his eyes, and as if he was actually performing an act of union with her. Now on the third day he went out to his occupation of prayer and praise, but his thoughts were not clean, and his mind was wandering about hither and thither, and he was moving the sight of the pupils of his eyes in all directions, and the remembrance of his lusts shortened his good work. And he went back in the evening seeking for bread, and when he had gone into the cave he found upon his table bread, part of which had been eaten by the mice, and part had been gnawed by dogs, and the rest was dry; then he groaned again and wept, but not sufficiently to restrain him from his wickedness. And having eaten the bread, which was not according to his taste, he endeavoured to take some rest.
“Then again the evil thoughts stirred in him, and made war upon his mind so that they might lead him along the road and carry him to the world; and he rose up by night and went forth from his cave to travel in the desert to Shainâ, and whilst he was still far from the habitations of men, the day overtook him, and the heat of the sun afflicted him, and he looked round about him that, peradventure, he might see a monastery wherein he might enter and rest himself. And he saw a monastery, and went into it, and the chaste and believing brethren who regarded him as a true father received him; and they washed his face and his feet, and when they had prayed, and set forth a table, they entreated him lovingly to partake of whatsoever they had, and when he had eaten and was refreshed, they asked him to address to them a word of help and to tell them how they might be able to escape from the crafty snares of the Enemy, and to rise up and to prevail like men over lascivious thoughts. Then that monk, like a father who was admonishing his sons, commanded them to persevere in the labours of ascetic life, even unto weariness, as men who, after a short time, would depart to abundant delight; and having spoken unto them several other most excellent things he helped them greatly. And having made an end of his admonitory discourse, he remembered himself a little, and thought within himself, saying, ‘How is it that I am able to rebuke others, and remain myself without reproof?’ Then having understood his guiltiness, he ran back with all speed to the desert, and wept over himself, saying, ‘If it had not been that the Lord helped me my soul would have been destroyed by misery, for I am within a very little of [falling] into every kind of wickedness, and my life would have been destroyed in the earth.’ And it was fulfilled in him the saying, ‘A man is helped by his brethren, even as a city is helped by its fortress, and he is like a wall which shall never fall.’ And from that time onwards, for the whole period of his life, that monk mourned and wept because he was deprived of his heavenly table, and he obtained his daily bread only by means of great toil. And he shut himself up in the cave, and [put on] sackcloth and ashes, and he humbled himself in prayer; and he neither rose up from earth nor ceased from groans and sighs, until he heard in a dream a sound of angels which came to him, [and said], ‘God hath received thy repentance, and hath had mercy upon thee. Therefore take good heed that thou stumble not a second time into sin. And the brethren whom thou didst admonish shall come unto thee and console thee, and shall bring unto thee a blessing [which] thou shalt receive from them, and ye shall be refreshed and shall give thanks unto God always.’
“These things which I have narrated unto you, O my sons, [shew] that ye should acquire humbleness of mind before every other thing in your life and works, and in all matters which shall be unto you, whether they be small or whether they be great, for this is the first commandment of our Redeemer, Who said, ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (St. Matthew v, 3). Take good heed that ye be not confounded by the Devil when filthy visions rise upon you, and go not astray after devils when they shew you a lying vision. But if anyone come unto you, be it brother, or friend, or wife, or old man, or father, or teacher, or mother, or sister, or son, or daughter, first of all lift up your hands in prayer, and if it should happen that any lying vision of devils should come, it will depart quickly from before you. And moreover, if men or devils would lead you astray, and would incite you [to sin] by flattering you, be not persuaded by them, and be not lifted up in your minds. For in this way they have led even me astray on several occasions, and the devils would let me neither pray nor take my rest in the night season, and they used to show me lying visions the whole night long, and then in the morning they would laugh at me, and would bend the knee before me, and say, ‘Father, let us vex thee [by day] in the same way as we did all night long,’ and I would say unto them, ‘Get ye gone from me, O ye workers of iniquity, for ye shall not vex the servant of God.’ Therefore, O my sons, after quietness, follow ye after and love peaceful meditation, and train yourselves at all times in the vision of excellence, and ye shall acquire in prayer to God the broadness of a pure mind. For he is a good and fair athlete of Christ, and a noble and strenuous man, who shall at all seasons train himself in labours, who shall do fair deeds continually, who shall shew forth love for the brethren and for strangers, who shall perform love and mercy, who shall visit and relieve all those who are nigh unto him, who shall help the suffering and support the sick, and who shall bring his days to an end without stumbling. For if a man bring his days to an end without stumbling, even though he labour in and be held fast by the things of earth, he is a fair, and good, and noble soldier and workman, and worker and doer of the commandments.
“But the spectator of the mind who leaveth all these things for others to administer [or provide] is far better, and more excellent and greater than he, and he pursueth spiritual instead of corporeal things, and leaveth the transitory things of this world unto others; for he denieth himself, and forgetteth himself, and taketh up his cross and cleaveth unto Christ, and he embraceth the things of heaven continually, and he maketh his escape from everything [earthly], and draweth nigh unto God, and he will not allow himself to be drawn to turn behind him through any care whatsoever. And such a man as this is, through his godly works, and the praises which he offereth up continually before God, with God, and, being free and unfettered by any tie whatsoever, he standeth before God in security, and his mind is not drawn away by any other care. He who is in this condition holdeth converse with God continually, and offereth up to Him unceasingly praise and glorifying. But it is necessary [that those who seek after God should forsake] everything which is visible, and should turn themselves completely towards God, and should commit themselves to Him that He may protect their lives; for the man in whom God dwelleth doth not know even that the world existeth, since the whole of creation is an alien thing in his eyes, because he is crucified unto all the world, and it is accounted by him as nothing.”
These then were the things which the blessed John related unto us (now he told us many others), and he held converse and talked with us for three days, and he healed our souls until the season of the ninth hour; and when he gave us [his] blessing, he spake unto us also a word of prophecy, saying, “This day letters [recording] the victory of Theodosius the Emperor have entered Alexandria, and these make known that he hath slain [A.D. 394] Eugenius the tyrant, and the death which the Christian Emperor Theodosius himself will die.” Now these things actually happened as he said. And having seen many other fathers, other brethren came and informed us that the life of the blessed John had come to an end in a most excellent and exemplary manner; for he commanded him (i.e., his disciple) that for three days no man should be allowed to go up to him, and he bowed his knees in prayer, and his career was crowned, and he went to our Lord, to Whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
here end the Triumphs of the Blessed Mar John